The List Nobody Hands You
I am going to give you the list I didn't have.
Not the military acronyms — you can Google those. Not the logistics — your family's branch will walk you through that.
I mean the other list.
The one nobody thinks to write down because by the time you are far enough along to know it, you have forgotten how badly you needed it at the beginning.
So here it is, from me to you, in the way I wish someone had handed it to me:
1. You Are Not Behind
Everyone in this feels behind at first.
The moms who look like they have it together started exactly where you are.
2. Fear Does Not Mean You Made a Mistake
The fear does not mean you made a mistake.
It means you love your kid.
Those are not the same thing and it matters that you know the difference.
3. You Will Learn the Language
You will learn the language.
Not all at once.
Slowly, in pieces, through conversations, group chats, and the occasional 2:00 am Google spiral.
And one day someone will use an acronym and you will just know what it means — and that day feels better than you expect it to.
4. You Can Be Proud and Falling Apart at the Same Time
You are allowed to be proud and fall apart in the same afternoon.
Both are true.
Neither cancels the other out.
5. Find Your People Early
Find your people early.
Not the ones who tell you it is all fine.
The ones who say I know, it is hard, keep going.
Those are your people.
The One I Needed Most
And this one — the one I needed most and nobody said:
6. You Do Not Have to Earn the Right to Feel What You Feel
You do not have to earn the right to feel what you feel.
Your sacrifice is real even if you are not the one in uniform.
The worry is real.
The pride is real.
The loneliness is real.
You do not have to explain any of it to anyone.
Consider It Handed
I am sorry nobody handed you this list sooner.
Consider it handed.
— Janae